Living with abC

What's a woman with metastatic breast cancer to do? 

Two days ago, I was very emotional, feeling frustrated that I couldn't do much. I used to do a lot of work as a businesswoman, photographer and homeschooling mom. I never wanted to be unproductive. I believed in making use of my time wisely by doing meaningful work, and still do.

Because of the the double mastectomy I have gotten in a span of two years, both my arms have been weaker, and with the constant heaviness and tingling sensation on my right chest due to skin metastasis, staying in bed is the way to get relief, even with the pain drugs that I am taking. 

So to answer my intro question, what am I to do? Start a blog.....

Maybe, that is the message...that I cease, not from work, but from the pressures and stresses I had in my life; to see the value and appreciate being still and quiet; to do only the few things God wants me to do, and let everything else grow dim....

As if there isn't any stress attached to cancer! But let me say this, this sickness, though it's a frightening event in my life, has also been enlightening. There has been a lot of opportunities to rest, think, learn, prioritize, and enjoy the love of family and friends. Cancer is such a spoiler at times that some have not hesitated to be cruel both to me and my family, saying things such as, "Cancer is not an excuse to get angry and frustrated...." Obviously, they have not had to deal with what we're dealing with. Good for them. But more of that in another post, on dealing with people's judgments. Yup, there is that too. We have met the kindest of people in this journey but have also encountered the most cruel. What lessons that is bringing into our lives! 

In this blog, I will talk about my journey with the C, cancer, and the big C, Christ, and the ABC's of life, which cancer has been forcibly teaching me, beating down into my head, and thrusting into my heart....cancer is like the thorn Paul talks about in the bible. God refused to remove it because He wants Paul to experience His abundant grace, saying, "My strength is made perfect in weakness."

I say the same thing one cancer patient blogger wrote, "I don't claim to be an expert in anything, but I am an expert patient." This will be a recollection of my experiences; my pains and joys; the things I've learned and my numerous questions along the way. If there is one thing that has remained, it would be the ability to communicate. Right now, there are still a lot of words. Hence, the blog.

I still have my mind, heart and hands....there is still a lot of life in me; there are still a lot to be said and done. There is no reason to feel useless nor worthless. Thank you, Lord.