Emotions, Thoughts, And Living More Deeply

I wrote,  "but I have yet to find that stable, immovable and unshakeable joy for this new life" in my last post, Panic Attacks,"  because I have to constantly, constantly, fight the so many emotions and thoughts that go with this condition. It has become even more clear to me what cancer does. It isn't pretty. It is not inspiring. It isn't chemo that's terrible. It's cancer! One can live through chemo. And I believe it helps. I can sleep better knowing I've taken my chemo meds. But cancer keeps me awake at night knowing that it kills. It is ugly. If you already have it, take courage, have hope. If not, good, but TAKE HEED! DO NOT IGNORE the reminders - stop smoking, eat your fruits and veggies, avoid stress and learn to relax, go to check-ups (don't be afraid of hospitals...they help.), and find better alternatives to your processed meat and sugar fix. (I don't know why I'm writing these in this post. It doesn't feel like it's connected to the title but I really really feel strongly about this.)

Truthfully, and deeply.......

JESUS IS MY IMMOVABLE JOY. He's the reason why I am still here; why I can still laugh and sleep soundly at night. He is my peace and hope. He is my LIFE. He is the reason why I am breathing. He is IN my spirit - the unshakeable part of me. Not in my mind and soul that gets influenced by what I see, hear, smell, and touch. If I just reach deep deep down inside, and not live by my mind or soul (thinking too much, feeling too much), I'd be living by my spirit that's been made new - that part where there is no fear, only faith - where Jesus permanently dwells. 

Psalm 86:11

Tell me where you want me to go and I will go there. May every fiber of my being unite.......

(I told you, I've been pushed over the edge!)

There are so many things going on in my body, mind, and heart, that it's so easy to FORGET what I've already been given to make it through this challenge. 

But I do believe too, as long as you're not hurting anyone, it is GOOD to talk about unhealthy emotions and what is in your mind that steals your peace...sort of like removing the dross from gold when it reaches the surface. God did not create us to become robots. He created us with emotions. But the unhealthy ones like fear and discouragement need to show up to be removed....like dross from gold.

The "gold" says, "Do not fear. Take courage.", "Everything will be ok in the end."

Yeah, I gotta live more deeply. Lord, I take Your challenge.... by your grace.