I never got comfortable about the separation of my parents. I knew we weren't a normal family. I craved for normalcy. At seventeen, I started to take steps towards that "normal life" by being in a relationship with a boy. I was starting to build a family of my own thinking, I'd have a normal family life.
At the age of 22, this dream shattered. The boy left, as I dealt with having his baby in my tummy. That same year, my mom died. I became (sort of) a widow, and an orphan the same year.
And then I learned even further that the world wouldn't be kind to you. So many people are normally just living for themselves and are success-money-material hungry. Even if it meant hurting someone, they'd get what they want. At a time, I was in the way of these individuals, and boy, I got hurt...really really hurt. Brokenhearted, shocked and angry, I didn't know how to go on.
Through it all, God was there with me whether I felt him or not. Jesus guarded me in the midst of all the difficulties. I could have been swallowed up and destroyed by all the things I mentioned above. But I am still here.
And now, this sickness....you'd think I am cursed by God.
How could that be when I'm experiencing his blessings through all the trials?
From the preaching I heard yesterday, suffering may oftentimes be because of our own doings. But there are instances when it's other people's fault and you suffer their evil actions. I know without a doubt, some of my sufferings were because I was directly affected by people's disloyalty, unfaithfulness, and greed.
See, this is what Christianity is all about. It isn't that you're claiming you are perfect and you have a flawless life, but that you have a perfect God through all your imperfections; through all your unwise decisions, careless acts, willful ignorance, and other people's faults.
I am blessed simply because of what Jesus chooses to bless me with. And what a generous giver he is!
What I am really trying to say is, there are so many trends coming out these days, from exercise and fitness programs, organic food and products, strange way of thinking and being....but one thing has remained. He isn't some trend that comes and goes, and is ineffective. HE IS the ultimate source of comfort, healing and over-all wellness....He has been doing what he's doing to billions of people for thousands of years, which proves he is an immovable rock.
Now that I'm in a shaky place - seriously sick and faced with intimidating uncertainty, he remains to be my immovable rock.
In every season of my life, he remained the same...in every trial, he saved me....in every hurt, he comforted me. People say I'm strong but what they really see is God's grace and strength. My weakness makes a way for his strength to be displayed.
Yes, my problems did not destroy me. He will forever be here, so, I am still here - hopeful and happy.
Enjoy this song,
Jennifer Hudson sang "I'm Here" from the Color Purple
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