Not Easy

There is a modern day idol and its name is "Easy". We pursue it; crave it, and work so hard to get it. I am guilty of this sin.

Easy relationships. Easy access to information. Easy everything. 

Even though life is never simple, it is still something I dream of. It occupies my mind day and night to have a less burdensome life. I crave for it so much that I forget what I really should be thinking about: God and His purpose for my life. "Easy" becomes an idol, and I repent. 

If we think about it, there is nothing easy or simple in any of God's designs. 

Our body is an intricate set of wires, ligaments, muscles, bones and organs, and even unseen elements, tightly put together in a complicated manner forming beautiful works of art. 

Our world is composed of hills, mountains, valleys, deserts, rocks, sands, with creations such as plants and animals with different and complex behaviors and demanding needs, making up a vibrant, breathing, and amazing world. 

Our great men and women, if we watch and study their lives, didn't live easy lives. All had struggles, and went through pains. Many died for their beliefs. As innocent men and women, they were mocked, persecuted, hunted down, harassed, isolated, jailed, and even killed. My greatest example is Jesus, who, instead of coming as a prestigious king, came as a meek carpenter's son; SACRIFICED himself to die a criminal's death - far from an untroublesome life. 

So why do I still dream of an easy life? What I need to learn is ACCEPTANCE that this life is designed with twists and turns AND highs and lows. 

This song clearly says what needs to be done through all these complications, 

  Through Heaven's Eyes 

Prince of Egypt

A single thread in a tapestry

though its color brightly shines

can never see its purpose

in the pattern of the grand design

and the stone that sits up on the very top

of the mountain's mighty face

does it think that it's more important

than the stones that forms the base

So how can you see what your life is worth

or where your value lies

ohhhh, you can never see through the eyes of man

you must look at your life

look at your life through heaven's eyes

lai-la-lai...through heaven's eyes

A lake of gold in the desert sand

is less than a cool fresh spring

and to one lost sheep, a shepard boy

is greater than the richest king

should a man lose everything he owns

has he truly lost his worth

or is it the beginning

of a new and brighter birth

So how do you measure the worth of a man

in wealth or strength or size

in how much he gained or how much he gave

the answer will come

the answer will come to him who tries

to look at his life through heaven's eyes

lai-la-lai...through heaven's eyes

and that's why we share all we have with you

though there's little to be found

when all you've got is nothing

there's lots to go around

No life can escape being blown about

by the winds of change and chance

and though you never know all the steps

you must learn to join the dance

you must learn to join the dance

lai-la-lai

So how do you judge what a man is worth

By what he builds or buys

You can never see with your eyes on earth

Look through heaven's eyes(look at your life)

Look at your life

Look at your life through heaven's eyes

You must learn to join the dance. 

I must learn to join the dance. 

What I need, and should DESIRE is to continually worship and honor Him during my struggles. Thank Him for all the pain. Trust and FOCUS on Him. It is ALL about Him because, simply put, He. Is. GOD. 

There can never be room in my mind for idols, including Easy. 

There was a pastor who told me and my husband once, "ENJOY this challenge." At that time, we thought that was impossible and crazy. Now, I am slowly getting it. 

Something great is going to come out of this cancer, whether I feel it or not. "Easy" would never produce that greatness. 

I am getting excited! 

Hebrews 12

"...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Path of Hope

There is something baffling about a co-fighter's passing. 

Yesterday, when a friend whose cancer type was the same as mine, died, I felt lost. While I was sad for her and those she left behind, I was scared for myself. For over a year, we would compare notes as we had the same breast cancer type, first oncologist, chemo meds....she was like a companion whose presence gave me an assurance that I was going to be ok. 

For a time, it seemed like having breast cancer at stage 4 and thriving is starting to become a norm with all the improvements in the areas of medicine and technology, and with all the support groups that are readily available for those suffering the disease. 

When I heard about her, I cried. I thought of all our conversations: how we were both so positive, those numerous times she would remind me she was always praying for me, how happy she was with her doctor, but anxious at the same time for all the tests, scans and injections. I thought of her girls whom she loved dearly: how she would still be present for their school events, her motherly and proud smile as she raved about their antics and talents. I could tell, despite cancer, she was full of life. 

I thought deeply once again about this illness: how nothing in this predicament is certain. You can be full of life and positivity one day, and be down the next. You only do your best. You rely on the Giver of life. You pray, and trust. You only choose to continue in hope.

As my friend moved on to her new and pain-free path, I continue with mine. Even though I will still meet many challenges, and experience some pain, I know that the path God has for me is unique just like everyone else's, with or without cancer. I am eager, nervous, and thrilled to see God's plan unfold before my very eyes. No fear, only trust.

(Please pray for the family of Patty Buencamino Balquiedra, her two daughters, Anissa and Sabine, and husband, Neal Narvaez.)