Hope

Please don't get me wrong. My last post, Differently Positive, doesn't mean I'm losing hope. Learning from my experience with the death of my mom, which I was totally unprepared for, I am just constantly making myself ready for other possibilities, like...hmmm....death. 

I do think of death, but I think of LIFE more.

As long as there's still something we can do, we're not going to stop. We are far from giving up. 

I still dream of seeing my girls finish school, be successful in their chosen fields, get married, and have kids. I dream of being a grandma, seeing my grandchildren's smiles and chubby cheeks, smelling their breath and pinching their noses. 

I still look forward to spending more great years with my husband; getting teary-eyed with him during our daughters' graduations and weddings, and seeing his handsome grandpa face. 

I wish to be given a chance to take care of him.

I pray hard for these things. 

I wish that someday I'll be totally free from this sickness. Oh, how I long to be free from pain!

No, I am not losing hope. It is what keeps me alive, keeping me motivated to do what I am meant to do. It is what still enables me to laugh in a place of sorrows; stay strong at a time of weakness, and try to be a blessing to others at a time of great need. 

These are a few things that keep me going: celebrations, rest, and Mr. Froggy. I'll explain why.

Celebrations do not only mean a huge amount of food and chit chats. It is a great way to show love and appreciation to our loved ones. That is the most important thing. 

Who knows how many more birthdays and other celebrations I'll be in? And this is true for anyone. Making it extra special and memorable is something I am urged to do.

Recently, we organized a simple birthday party for our youngest. She requested for a camping themed party. We had homemade decorations, a simple spread of food, and a few invited guests. My 11-year old had a blast! Why? Because she felt loved. 

We were never into fancy celebrations. First, our budget doesn't allow it, which turns out to be a blessing. There is nothing like a fun and intimate gathering of family and friends. Focusing on what is most important is what matters.

Rest, clearly, helps me gather strength. I savor it! I think it's underrated. People think they're being lazy when they rest. That was so true for me before my diagnosis. But it is so essential to living. God gives proper rest to His children, it says in the bible. 

Here's a piece of advice: enjoy the comfort of your bed, eat a yummy snack, watch a movie, read a good book, or do art. Breathe deeply. Do some stretches. Get a massage. Sleep! Most importantly, have a relaxing, intimate talk with loved ones. 

Love your body and give it what it craves for: rest. 

"Mr. Froggy" represents the wackiness in my life. Where would I be without humor? It may sound redundant from me, but, it's so true, and it is worth repeating. Humor, or wackiness, gets me through days of turmoil. It pushes worry and fear away. Doesn't it feel good to laugh? There is nothing wrong with being silly sometimes. 

Psalm 42:4Living Bible (TLB)

4-5 Take courage, my soul.......Why then be downcast? Why be discouraged and sad? Hope in God! I shall yet praise him again. Yes, I shall again praise him for his help.[a]

Laugh Therapy

I wouldn't have made it these past two years without humor. I love to laugh, and it shows in its intense volume. Thank God for my "Cachupoy" husband who never fails to deliver. 

From my first surgery, where he broke a plastic chair and fell flat from it which gave me a hard time laughing because of my fresh scars, to talking about getting an ass mastectomy, he really has been the main source of this wonderful drug. 

Laughter is free and available wherever you look. But, it only comes if you want it. 

Who wouldn't want it? A famous verse says, it is the best medicine. 

So here's a collection of some moments of my funny man.

Here he was during my last surgery being smart.

Using his cellphone as a pillow. Doesn't it look comfy? 

He thought he needed to be more fit but didn't exactly know where the gym was. He thought it was a wall climbing fitness center. 

Isn't he handsome as Bane? Maybe with a more cool mask, and a better body (according to him). 

A scarf (and style) thief! This was the time I was bald and he thought he, too, could wear a scarf around his head if he wanted to. 

There are so many ways to beat the emotional scars this disease brings into people's lives. Life is so much bigger than cancer. 

It can definitely make you think that once you have it, it is your world, but, you look out there and you find so many other things that make your world - faith, love, friendships, laughter, adventures, art, and other people in need.

The other day, I was listening to a preaching about the importance of knowing how blessed you are so you can start blessing others. I realized I have not thought of that in a long time. But really, compared to most in our world, I am, my family is still in a much better place. In my time of great need, I still want to be a blessing. 

I know and should remember, it begins with having joy in myself, then, in my home.....and hopefully, this same joy reaches wherever it is needed and wanted.