A Sense of Purpose

Journaling is what I find myself doing a lot lately. I have an actual journal for my family. It contains everything I want to say to my children (and husband). I consider it as an extension of our bible sessions during home school. It is of utmost importance to me to talk to my girls about practical lessons that I believe would help them through life. During these sessions, I see from my children the appreciation for such talks. I give them bible verses that have helped me and let them know of my victories, as well as my failures. It gives me joy to see on their faces enlightenment, and hear them speak of their own experiences. I hold those moments close to my heart. 
When I got married and had children, I always wondered what nuggets of wisdom my mom would share with me. All I could do was imagine. 

I have accepted, though I remain hopeful, there is a possibility that I don't make it that far into my daughters' future, my eldest being 17, the second 14, and my third, 10. That is why it thrills my heart to write....to write about things I imagined my mom would talk to me about if she was here with my growing family. 

It is comforting to know that they will never be without a mom. If I do go, they will have that journal to go back to for mom's love, comfort, and advice, just like what I have for them during our bible sessions. If I stay, and they have questions, but I'm too tired to talk because of old age, I can just say, "Go, look at the journal!" It will be useful to them, or to me. Haha.

I don't claim to know all the answers to life's mysteries. That is why in my messages, I always always point them to God, and to His Word. In Him, they are complete. 

So I have my journal, Facebook, and this blog. Facebook is for those little and simple joys, fun photos, articles and ideas I'd like to share, like a celebration of everyday blessings, and this blog is for the "heavier stuff". 

I do a few things for work, because once I start it, I want things done a certain way that I get so high-strung. It  becomes a source of stress for me, and others. So that has to take a backseat for now. I know, I have to learn to relax in that area! 

For now, I find joy and healing in writing. Like what the main character in the movie, Chariots of Fire, said, "....when I run, I feel His pleasure." When I get so true, and put my thoughts down into writing, though I am not a trained writer, I feel His pleasure.

It gives me a sense of purpose despite my limitations. It contributes to my happiness despite the pain and challenges that cancer has brought into my life. It is true, cancer can do a lot to hurt you, but it can never steal your faith nor break your spirit if you don't let it.