Tough Truth

Dealing with cancer in the family is tough. Isn't that pretty obvious already?

We give lots of love to each other, but there are moments when it's hard. And we can't help but pour out.

We get angry, frustrated, and irritated. At times, we feel hopeless. These are unwanted, but real feelings. 

People who are not dealing with cancer feel these things. How much more us?

We are not always positive and spiritual. There are stuff that we say and and do sometimes that fall short of being inspirational. 

I believe we can't be truly positive if we don't acknowledge the "negatives". 

Through acknowledging them, we are able to deal with, and possibly fix them. Then we are enabled to truly live good lives, instead of letting the bad things stay, and rot in us in the guise of staying "positive", and we end up giving out fake smiles, fake words, fake spirituality.....fake lives.

Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him who is the head. Ephesians 4: 15

In all honesty, this same love can get really passionate. And it can make some people uncomfortable. But it happens. We work on dealing with things better, but difficult, emotional, and "loud" moments happen, because people in these hard situations care deeply. 

This part in My Sister's Keeper is so real and it does happen to a family dealing with cancer.

Here's another scene from The Big C....

For those who take it against us that we lose it at times, sorry that you have been inconvenienced by what we are going through. Sorry that you are offended by our reality. 

People always have a choice to mind their own business. 

I am not encouraging some wild behavior but I personally accept and even appreciate when people lose it or break sometimes. It's at those times when truth comes out. Tough, but truth nonetheless.

Truth sets free. Then, we move on to lives with more love, joy, peace, and amazing, excruciating, but powerful truth.

Love this scene,

Mother's Day

Mother's day was such a big treat for me, after having gone through three days of feeling low. 

The family, Doods and my girls, woke me up with a bouquet of beautiful flowers and heartfelt letters. One good thing about having daughters is that they have a lot of words to express their feelings. I am so grateful to see them grow up emotionally and spiritually by reading their messages. These are excerpts from their letters:

Andi

Thank you, Mommy for being there for me all the time and for all our fun talks. Thank you for teaching me lessons no one else could. I will always be your baby....

Toni

You....take care of us and....remind us about things you shouldn't even be reminding us about. So thank you! Love you so much! I know God is going to heal you soon.

Joey

P.S. You and Daddy are wonderful parents. You always make us laugh.

Doods

I'm happy to see you more independent but I still want to take care of you. You are very special to me and the girls. 

Next was a wonderful service at my home church, Victory Malolos. It feels good to be appreciated with all the other mothers who have done and sacrificed a lot to take care of their children.

The highlight for me was hearing my eldest daughter speak to the congregation about how our situation teaches her important things. These are what she said: 

- Our moms take care of us, comfort and love us....sometimes we forget they need to be loved, taken care of, and comforted too.

- We should never let go of our faith in Jesus. However difficult our situation is, we have to hold on because He is in control.

- Cherish every moment we have with our moms. Some people forget to appreciate what they have until it's gone.

Then, she sang, while volunteers gave out roses to the moms. 

What blessed me the most is to see her live out God's plan for her life. I strongly encouraged her to speak for the special occasion (when she already turned down the request), so she could be a blessing to other people, and to overcome her fear. I am so happy that she did. What a great gift for Mother's Day. 

Chica Therapy

"Chica" means "a female friend" from a slang online dictionary, which explains the title. 

I'd like to take this time to honor my chicas :) and remember those times I've spent with them. Looking at these pictures warm my heart and make me smile. 

My girl friends :) shown below have all been sources of encouragement, strength, wisdom, laughter and a lot of other things that are contributing to my overall well-being. 

Some are old friends. Some are new. 

I am particularly grateful for rekindled friendships; for relationships that have gone deeper, and for the new ones, but have been sources of sound advice and strength. All have been my constant support.

And when I say "support", it isn't to be merely nice. It means so much to me, like how it would mean to a dying tree that needs support for its uprooted trunk. It is the kind that lightens or lifts up a heavy burden. 

For all I have been shown and given, I am truly grateful.

The last two letters represent those who have extended their kindness all the way from the US and Australia. 

There are still so many who aren't here but have sent me and my husband messages expressing their love and generosity of heart. 

With all of these in front of me, should I really hate cancer?  Or should I be grateful for it, for all the open doors, and windows :) it has provided for me to have wonderful and even better relationships? 

To all my chicas, cheers! May God's blessings be poured out on you like how you all have been sources of His to me. 

Healing does come in different ways.