Pain

This is something that I never wanted to talk about. I wanted to focus on the joys despite this. But pain is a part of life that cannot be ignored. 

Two days ago was the worst for me. The neck, back and chest aches made every move difficult. It was so painful, I was sobbing, groaning and saying things I would have never said even on a not-so-good day. 

I'd like to believe they are only tumor flares. But there are new lumps that I could feel. However, there are parts that are drying up. I guess that's what "keeping it stable" (Stable Is Good) looks like.

Chemo has been delayed for almost two weeks. And we are really hoping and praying that the cancer doesn't gain any ground. My rbc has been so low, at 6 initially, then for my last check-up, it was 7.8. It has to be at a 9, for chemo to be effective. 

So I have been dealing with some pains. All of us have this. It can be emotional, physical, or mental pain. I guess this is the part where I'm saying, don't pity me. 

Compassion, concern, support are good but not pity. I try my very best to think that my situation isn't a special case. I am aware that all of us have our own burdens to carry. I may not know all the stories of my friends, but I know, as a part of this imperfect life, we all have our pains. It may differ in intensity, but all of us are going through something. 

I am not exempt from showing compassion or concern for someone. 

I think that's one great way in dealing with my pain. Look beyond what I'm going through. Think of others and do whatever I can to help. 

The time that I was such in pain, I took three types of pain drugs, Dolcet, Lyrica, and Tramal. None of it worked!

The only time I got to sleep was when I prayed. True! I said, "Lord, let peace reign in my body. Help me sleep for you give proper rest to your children...."

And then I slept and felt a little more comfortable the next day.

The secret in dealing with pain is, God. He is the source of healing, comfort and relief. 

Right now, though I am still feeling some things, I am more comfortable. The thing about pain is it doesn't stay. We can always have hope that it will be over. We can always believe that God lets us experience it for good reasons. That is my faith. I am not letting go of it for some silly aches.